


Milo vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda

by diogeegohome



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bradley is kind of a dick I'm sorry, Closeted Character, Gen, I really didn't plan ahead and it shows, I'M NEVER FINISHING THIS I'M SO SORRY, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Yikes, almost forgot to mention that there's an oc, also I write this when I'm sleep deprived so maybe not the best quality, but it's not relevant tho, kinda angst, might add some implied dakavendish further on, might write him a redemption arc towards the end tho, milo gets outed, the plot is loosely based on Love Simon and Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23541298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diogeegohome/pseuds/diogeegohome
Summary: Ask anyone in Danville and they’d tell you that Milo Murphy is the most enthusiastic and optimistic kid they’d met. So, when rain starts following him everywhere he goes and he’s awfully quiet, something has to be wrong.Rumor has it, Milo Murphy fell in love with a boy.
Relationships: Melissa Chase & Milo Murphy, Milo Murphy & Bradley Nicholson, Milo Murphy/Zack Underwood, One-Sided Melissa Chase/Bradley Nicholson, Vinnie Dakota & Milo Murphy
Comments: 10
Kudos: 73





	1. Light Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I normally don't write stuff, and when I do, I don't post it. But due to the lack of Zilo content in here, I had to do something about it.
> 
> English is not my first language and this is not beta readed because I don't have beta readers but if you're interested in beta reading please reach out

Ask anyone in Danville and they’d tell you that Milo Murphy is the most enthusiastic and optimistic kid they’d met (well, they might mention a certain redhead, but it’s certainly a tie).

So why, all of a sudden, did he stop hanging out with his friends? Melissa and Zack started getting worried after the third time he denied an invitation to get ice cream, using some poorly thought excuse.

Zack was the first one to suggest it.

“It’s like he’s keeping a secret from us. And it seems important.” They were walking to the ice cream shop, just the two of them, for the fourth time this week. 

“Milo would never keep something from me.” Melissa shook her head. “I don’t get it. Do you think he got bored of hanging out with us?” She stared at the sky, which was starting to get a little too cloudy.

“I don’t know, I mean, why would he get bored of us so suddenly?” It was a logical statement, it was unlike Milo to have such an abrupt change of heart, and he’s been friends with Melissa since first grade, why would he change his mind now? 

“I don’t know” She sighed, trying to think of a possible explanation. In all of their years of friendship, she’d never seen Milo act like this. If she didn’t know better, she’d be sure they were dealing with robot milo once again, but it wasn’t the case, because murphy’s law still affected everything around him.

God, she just wanted his friend back. Walking to the ice cream shop without a challenge was extremely boring, and mostly uncomfortable, being alone with Zack. It was starting to feel like a date.

“What did we do wrong?” She asked, mostly to herself. Was Milo mad at them? it was the only possibility she could think of.

“I don’t think this is about us.” He said, honestly. As much time as he and Melissa could spend entertaining the idea of Milo being mad at them for some unknown reason, Milo had been acting different even before he started distancing himself from the pair. Not mad or quiet, but nervous, and maybe a little bit shy.

“Milo would tell us is something was wrong” Zack could almost see the gears turning inside Melissa’s mind, trying to come up with a logical reason. “There’s nothing he can’t tell us, he knows that”

“Well, then, I don’t have another explanation. If you want to spend the rest of the day thinking of every little thing we did that could’ve affected Milo, then go ahead, have fun, but I’m not jumping on that train of thought.” It didn't sound as harsh in his own head as it did out loud, and he cringed a little, but it had to be said.

Melissa just stared at him, indignation all over her face, but she didn’t say a word. She just shook her head and started walking away.

“He just needs time. He’ll tell us when he’s ready.” He spoke louder, making sure Melissa could still hear him, trying to reassure her, but knowing it wouldn't work. Her mind was settled.

* * *

Milo was not ready. How could he even begin a conversation like that? What if they stopped wanting to hang out with him? What if they thought he was weird, well, weirder than he already was.

No. Zack and Melissa were the most supportive people he’d ever met. It wouldn’t be like them to hate him for something like that. Perhaps it’d take some time for them to get comfortable with the idea, but they’d eventually accept it.

So, what was he so afraid of? He couldn’t place a finger on it, but just the thought of saying those words out loud terrified him in a way that nothing else ever did, and he has been to an alien planet, so, that’s saying something.

He finished his shower and changed into his nightclothes, trying to regain some composure. He was brave, he could do this, he has done things that were far more threatening than that. So he cleaned the fog that covered the mirror, looked at himself, filled his chest with confidence, and said those words.

“I like boys.”

Maybe what terrified him was the fact that once he told someone, it would actually be real, not a pretended scenario he discussed with the school counselor.

And he was not ready for it to become so real yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are deeply appreciated, and feel free to correct any mistakes, it actually helps me learn and it's not rude at all!


	2. Moderate Rain

One feet in front of the other, against the white floor. Milo suddenly found looking down at his feet pretty interesting. Or pretty distracting from the conversation he was about to have.

He's been having these dreams. Zack's in them. Not like Zack wasn't usually in his dreams, but this was different. Dreams of Zack holding his hand. Dreams of Zack singing to him. Dreams of Zack just looking at him with those dark, beautiful eyes of his. Dreams of Zack. Only Zack. Like nothing else even mattered at all. And he'd wake up all giddy and with a huge grin, feeling funny things in his stomach.

And it was all fine at the beginning, but then he started questioning them. Why was he dreaming of his best friend, his _male_ best friend?

And of course he thought he could figure it out on his own, but then every time he looked at Zack, his eyes lingered a few seconds too long, every faint touch lasting as long as it could, every laugh just a little too loud, just a little _too happy._

He knocked on the counselor's office's door, feeling extremely nervous.

_"This is a safe space, Milo, you can tell me anything."_ He recalled the counselor's word's from last time.

Last time, when he was actually doing better than ever, and he was happy, because his days were full of amazing adventures, and he had made a new friend, and everything was so perfect because he didn't have to deal with all of this complex feelings he couldn't really understand getting in the way of his friendship.

"Milo, what a surprise. It's nice seeing you here, come on in" His thoughts were interrupted by the kind woman on the other side of the door

"Oh, hey, Ms. Silva. Can I talk to you for a second?" He entered her office, fidgeting with his sweatervest's edge.

"Of course, take a seat." She sat at her desk and gestured the chair in front of it. Milo quickly sat down.

"So, uhm, I know this isn't related to the school at all, it's just-" he was struggling to find the words already and he hadn't even told the woman anything yet. Off to a good start. "I didn't know who else I could talk to."

"That's okay." The woman smiled, warmly. "I'm here to help, Milo."

"I know, it's just that… I've been having some dreams lately and-" His gaze turned downward. "I don't really know what they mean."

"Well, maybe if you tell what they're about, we can figure it out together." Ms. Silva was pretty good at making everyone feeling confident, Milo really admired that from her.

"They are about a friend." He said, knowing that it wasn't enough information. _Safe space, Milo, you can do this, you can open up to her and nothing will happen,_ he thought. So he swallowed the lump on his throat and looked up at her once again "Who happens to be a boy."

Ms. Silva gave him a knowing smile, but proceeded to ask another question to encourage Milo to open up “And what happens in this dreams?”

“Well, that’s the thing…” Milo tried to find words to explain it. “N-not much, it’s like, like nothing else in the world exists and it’s just us.” He recalled that comforting feeling those dreams gave him, and a little, shy smile made its way into his lips.

“And how does that feel?”

“Warm.” He answered with assertiveness, that was one thing he was sure of. Along with some other things he couldn't really verbalize, but definitely warm. “And- maybe scary. It scares me a little after I wake up, when I start to question it.”

“Well, Milo, you shouldn’t be scared of your feelings, especially if they’re that beautiful. I thing you should hold on to that feeling of warmth, accept that it makes you happy, embrace it.” She said, encouraging Milo to open up a little further.

“So you’re saying that I should accept the fact that I like a boy.” He translated.

“If that’s what you feel, then, yeah. I think that you should embrace the fact that you like boys. Otherwise you’ll live fearing happiness. Of course it might take a while, and that’s perfectly normal. Just remember, there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way, there’s nothing wrong in allowing yourself to feel that happiness.” Her smile must’ve been contagious, because suddenly Milo had a similar one on his face.

He was still nervous, yes, but it was a good kind of nervousness, almost exciting.

“I hadn’t seen it that way before. I’m glad I do now.” He answered sincerely, smiling at her. She’d just helped him open his eyes to a whole new world of possibilities, it was strangely exciting. “Thank you, Ms. Silva, I feel so much better now.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Remember, you’re always welcome here, Milo.”

* * *

Things had been going really well from then, until they didn’t. Milo was sitting on his bed, feet dangling above his desk, looking at the text once again.  
  
“ _I’ve warned you, Milo. If you're not willing to help me win Melissa’s heart, the whole school will know your secret."_

He shut his eyes close, trying to hold back the tears. He took one, two, three deep breaths and tried to regain some composure. His fingers started hovering over the keyboard, before making his mind on what to answer.  
  
 _“I’m sorry, Bradley, but I can’t force Melissa to like someone, that would be selfish, and I try not to be selfish.”_

He sent the text, and then thought of the consequences. He could swear that as his eyes were flooding with tears, the rain outside got even stronger.

He was not ready yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sure hope the chronology is not confusing. First part is a flashback while the last part is actually the most recent thing in the story.
> 
> Oh boy do I cringe at myself for making Bradley the antagonist? Yes I do, I'm so basic, but I didn't want to make an OC


	3. Hope you grabbed an umbrella

Not every day a chance like that was given to Bradley on a silver platter.

See, he wasn’t eavesdropping, he just happened to be searching for the counselor, but what he found instead was ten times better: Milo’s biggest secret.

This was the best that ever happened to him for two reasons:

First of all, _Milo was gay,_ which meant that he was not interested in Melissa at all, so he was out of the equation. That in itself made things a hundred times easier for Bradley, but, in case that wasn't enough, he had another idea.

He could talk Milo into helping him to conquer Melissa in exchange for his silence. After all, he was her best friend, probably the person who knew her the most aside from her family, a bit of help didn’t hurt at all. Besides, it’s not like he’s asking Milo to do something illegal, it’s just a little bit of help. Everybody wins, he and Melissa get to be happy and Milo gets to… Help melissa be happy? Yeah, that’s it.

He standed as far from the counselor’s office’s door as he could, so that Milo wouldn’t see him. Tomorrow, he would confront him. But for today, he could use a little planning ahead.

* * *

Milo got home and laid down on his bed, still thinking about the conversation he had with Ms. Silva. Everything suddenly changed for him. He always thought he would eventually fall in love with a girl, but even if Amanda was really pretty and nice and outgoing, he couldn’t help feeling like he was forcing himself to like her, because that’s just what he’s supposed to do, what everyone expects from him, to like a girl.

But maybe he didn’t like girls at all, he thought about it thousands of times before, however he always concluded on the possibility that he was just a late bloomer, that eventually he would fall in love with a girl and feel butterflies and want to hold her hand and be around her all the time, just looking at each other, enjoying each other’s company.

He never thought he would feel said things for Zack. A boy. Well, he wasn’t appalled by the idea, if he was he wouldn’t even be in this situation, but it was something new, and new things are always a little bit scary. But they are less scary when you share them with your friends, right?

So he made a choice. Tomorrow, he would tell Melissa and Zack he liked boys. But for today, he would try to find the right words. After he took a nap, of course, he was exhausted from running from those bulls that got loose on his way home.

* * *

He didn't have a chance to talk to Zack and Melissa until after first period.

“Dude, you were half an hour late, that’s a new record, usually your adventures don’t last longer than eleven minutes” Zack commented.

“True. it’s also such an odd number. weird.” Melissa joined the conversation. “So, what happened this time? wolf stampede? A hole in the middle of the road? sentient underwear?” She snorted.

“That was one time!” He argued. “But nothing too exciting happened, I just slept through my alarm and got up fifteen minutes later than usual.” He didn’t know why he slept too much, he was just supposed to take a nap but then he just woke up the next day already running late for school. Maybe his dreams were way too nice.

“I’m not even going to ask about the underwear.” Zack shook his head. “But what happened with the other fifteen minutes?” He asked, curiosity all over his face. And curiosity looked so good on him, the way his deep brown eyes were wide open looking at him expectantly, a beautiful smile on his lips, and, did he do something to his hair? There had to be something different, because he was absolutely glowing. Not like he wasn’t naturally beautiful, god, Milo knew he was, but there was something, he couldn’t quite place it. Maybe it was the lighting, or his subtly flushed cheeks from it being pretty cold outside. Or maybe it was just Milo looking at him with different eyes. But whatever it was, Zack looked undoubtedly stunning.

“Milo!” Melissa snapped her fingers repeatedly in front of his face.

“Sorry, what?” Milo shook his head, pulling himself out of the trance. 

“Dude, you zoned out for a while, are you okay?” She placed her hand on his forehead, checking his temperature.

“Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking.” He looked down, pretty embarrassed about the situation.

“So, what happened?” Zack tried to resume the conversation they were having.

“What happened with what? Nothing happened, everything is fine, why would you ask that?” He was a little bit accelerated, matching the fast beat of his heart.

“I was asking about the fifteen minutes.” Zack clarified, confused by Milo’s reaction. “You said you woke up fifteen minutes late, but you arrived half an hour late, what happened on the other fifteen minutes?”

“Oh, just, Murphy’s law, you know how it is.” He dismissed it.

“Dude, seriously, is everything alright?” Zack asked, concern clear on his face.

“Well, actually, there’s something I wanted to tell you.” He saw a chance to tell his friends about his most recent discovery and took it.

“Go ahead, Murphy” Melissa said, a reassuring smile on her lips.

_I like boys._

_Melissa_ and Zack were looking at him supportively. 

_I like boys._

The hallway was pretty empty, only a few students minding their own business. 

_I like boys_. 

He took a deep breath, trying to find some confidence.

_I like boys._

His mouth was opened, waiting for his brain to give it the right signal.

_I like boys._

_I, Milo Murhpy, like boys. I think I’m gay. There’s this guy and i think i like him. I hope this isn’t weird for you, but I recently discovered that i like boys. I, like, boys. I like boys._

_“I…”_ This was it! he’s got it! _“I can’t find the right words._ I’m sorry.”  
  
Zack and melissa’s postures that were earlier straightened from the expectation, now deflated like a balloon.

“It’s okay, Milo.”Melissa quickly dismissed it. “Let’s go, we have to get to class, otherwise Mr. Draco could drink our blood.”

“I thought you said you were sure he wasn't a Vampire.” Zack called out, already forgetting about how Milo just froze.

“I said I was like seventy percent sure. There’s still a thirty percent left, one can never be too careful.” She explained, already walking towards the classroom.

* * *

After second period, Milo walked in an opposite direction from Zack and Melissa, stating that he had to use the bathroom. Well, he did enter the bathroom, just to look at himself in the mirror, trying to calm down. It was working, until Bradley entered the bathroom.

"What a surprise seeing you here, Milo" He said, with a weird tone, almost like the tone one would use to greet their parent before asking for something.

"Well, this is the bathroom, Bradley" Milo replied, confused about how finding him in the bathroom would be a surprise.

"Yeah, but, this is the thing, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Really?" Milo was a little bit surprised. He knew he wasn't Bradley's favorite person in the world, god, he wasn't even close.

"Yes, I actually need your help with something."

Milo couldn't help but smile, the fact that Bradley was asking for his help was out of character, but in a good way. It was a nice surprise.

"Of course, tell me, what can I help you with?"

"Well, you see, I might be good at hiding it, but I actually really like Melissa." He said, a little nervous. Milo tried really hard not laugh at the fact that Bradley genuinely thought his crush was subtle. Well, it's not like he was one to talk, but, still. "And, I, you know, I wanted to ask her out, but, I would like some advice"

"Well, of you ask me, my advice would be to just be yourself, you know, ask her casually."

"Yeah, well, you see, that's bad advice." He said sharply.

"I'm sorry?" Milo looked at him, visibly confused.

"You heard me. That's not the kind of advice I want."

"Then why would you ask for my advice?" Okay, Milo doesn't usually get on edge, but he was having a bit of a bad day. 

"Because you know Melissa, you know what she likes, you know how to get her to like me."

"Look, Bradley, I'm not going to help you trick Melissa into thinking you're someone that you're not." He would never do that to Melissa, she was her first real friend, they've been friends for years now, why would Bradley think he would be okay with something like that? "Besides, I think she likes someone else." Milo wasn't blind, he saw the looks, and that kiss. God, his stomach hurt from even thinking about it, he hated being jealous, but mostly he hated being jealous of her best friend.

"Well, that's what I was getting to. If you help me, we both win. I get to date Melissa, and you get Zack all to yourself."

Milo suddenly felt as if the whole world had stopped. How did Bradley even knew about his crush? How did he even knew he was into boys? He could hear his own heartbeat resonating into his mind.

Panic. He felt panic.

"I was walking by the counselor's office yesterday, and I heard something really interesting."

Milo swallowed, trying to formulate some coherent words, preferably not sounding pathetic.

"Please don't tell anyone." Okay, he did not only sound pathetic, he also looked completely terrified.

"I won't, as long as you help me get Melissa to like me."

"Bradley, I told you, I can't do that." Oh no. He was on the verge of tears, his entire world was falling apart, he was utterly terrified.

"Then I guess the whole school will know that you like boys." He shrugged as if it was nothing. Milo couldn't think of an answer to Bradley's threatening words, maybe because there was actually no useful answer to it. "You have until Monday, Murphy."

* * *

It was already Saturday, Zack knocked on Melissa's door.

"Coming!" She shouted from the inside, opening the door a good fifteen seconds later.

"So, what is this magnificent plan of yours you told me about over the phone?" He said, genuinely curious.

"I'll tell you on our way." She answered, impatiently.

"Okay, I hope you grabbed an umbrella." He said, looking at the rainy street ahead of them while Melissa closed the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I sure hope this going back and forward structure isn't too confusing to read.
> 
> I still hate my writing (the fact that I'm not completely fluent in english doesn't help at all) but I managed to write 1,7k words in this chapter so I guess that's progress?


End file.
